The girl that blew her face off (almost)

So I just found this in the drafts. I will make the correct edits before posting. Vanessa is something else. Let me first start off by saying Courtney likely will comment on this post with exaggerations and possibly outright lies. I encourage you to ignore these comments and trust that I tell no tales that are untrue. This is a woman who cheats at chutes and ladders and lies all the time.

On the day of the "incident" Courtney and I decided to test out our new hot dog cart so that we can familiarize ourselves with its mechanics.

Courtney being the stand up person she is offered to be the first person to light the flame on the cart. I suggested that we should use protective gear to reduce any possible injuries knowing that we have not used the cart yet who knows what may happen ! Vanessa never suggested any such thing.

Courtney dismissed my concern saying something along the lines of I don't want to mess up my hair or I don't wear rubber. I can't recall the exact words but something very arrogant if I'm not mistaken, obviously not true

I shrugged my shoulders and carried on following Courtney orders as I usually do. (shes very bossy)
Courtney asked me to turn the knob on the propane tank so I did. I gave the knob a slight half turn and asked if that was sufficient to which she replied "Open that sucker up more I want my dogs HOT". I never said that. She opened them up all the way on her own. I suspect foul play
I followed her direction and gave the knob another small turn.
Courtney smiled and said "OK lets go "
She haphazardly pulled down the cover to reveal the gas lines that were to be lit.
She reached her arm into the compartment with lighter in hand.
She flicked the lighter on and all of sudden she was on fire.

I immediately started fanning out the flames on her hair and clothing as she screamed and slapped at herself.
After ensuring that she was not being burned alive as she was exclaiming in her screams for help, I calmed her down and confirmed to her she was fine. With tears in her eyes she asked if her hair was ok. She actually just laughed. That was her very first reaction. Laughter!
I examined her hair and saw that just a few tiny hairs had been singed but nothing that couldn't be covered up with a hat or a scarf of some kind.
She explained that her arm hurt and Lindsey her daughter rushed to get the first aid kit.
Courtney, while bandaging her arm suddenly became angry and accusatory. "you tried to kill me" she yelled. I was shocked and expressed my confusion at her accusations.
"you opened that propane up all the way" "are you laughing at me" she shouted at me.
I tried to ignore her outbursts as I knew she was just in shock from almost blowing her face clear off. Vanessa is clearly insane.

After the shock of her near face disfiguring accident she agreed we needed to purchase protective equipment because, although she believed that the half a bottle of aqua-net that she sprayed on her hair somehow saved her face and eyebrows from sustaining further damage, she did not want to rely on hairspray alone.

After this incident we indeed went to Lowe to purchase fire proof gloves and a face shield. Courtney picked out a welding mask because she claimed she did not want the plastic masks to melt on her face if she were to again mistakenly release a fireball directed at herself.
We made some friend at Lowes that day (Tony) after telling him about the awful incident he was glad to help us find a suitable mask for our needs in exchange for hot dogs.

We learned a few lessons that day :

1. Always wear protective gear
2.Courtney likes fire
3. Vanessa is possibly a murderer TRUE

The last lesson of course is ridiculous but Courtney insists its a possibility.
She remembers this entire incident differently but that is understandable seeing as she was under extreme stress from the flames and shes prone to delusions and forgetfulness.
We plan to keep the public updated on any future occurrences as a means of education........
I'll always remember this quote from Courtney and as requested I will engrave her headstone when she passes.

"I want my DOGS hot"
Courtey Faulk
5/2018
lol she is a liar but makes me laugh!!